Of course there's nothing bad about wanting the certain situation to be different. But there's a hidden link between our Desire and Suffering which most of us tend to overlook. In fact it is so closely related that if you were to take away Desire, Suffering would disappear at once.
Now you might wonder, how is that?
Don't expect to find anything very complex here. In the same way that your suffering was created by stressful life situations, it can be diminished. In fact, a big part of suffering adds up exactly because you are making it so complex, and that part of you is not exactly your True Self. The True You, your highest self, does not do that; Your compulsive mind with its thought activities is the one that loves to do it.
Starting from the simple point of Now, you can already change what is happening immediately. I am not saying your whole life will change in an instant, but it becomes something similar to that.
Now it's easy to miss a point here because it is very simple and your mind might want something more complex; Something more, something different than it is and again, that is all fine, but this is not the true You. This is only your mind which is always like that, wanting something more most of the time.
Let's look closely at what desire is:Desire is wanting something different than now. The moment when you decide that you want a different experience than what you have right now at this particular moment, you immediately make space for suffering to occur.
By saying "I don't want what is now", you are denying the present moment from the form it takes on now. But fact is, the present moment is all what it is now, and wanting it to not be as it is right now is almost saying: "I don't like reality, it should be different than it is". I am not sure if you can already see the link, but your resistance to what is happening at this very moment is the exact root for suffering. So in a way, Desire is like wanting 'now' to not be now, even if it may sound funny in words. But that's exactly what the mind does. It wants your current reality which you are now experiencing, to instead be something that you are imagining at that moment. Unfortunately, by only imagining and wanting something else aside from what is now, will not change what is; It will only create suffering.
But if you were to locate and finally observe your mind and how it works, you will soon notice that it is almost like some sort of insanity. Hopefully you can free yourself from suffering in such a simple way that most people tend to overlook and not take seriously, but again don't be deceived by your mind. Reality is simple, it is only the mind that makes it complex.
For you to stop suffering, all you need to do is to immediately bring attention to the present moment. Do not indulge in the story which the mind tells you. You might have head yourself or some people saying things like "Oh my life is so hard", "I have lost my job", "I don't have any money", or "Everyone is treating me badly". Whatever it might be, you can hear many kinds of self-proclaimed stories like that.
But again, is this reality or is it merely just a story of your mind which you have chosen to believe in?
Once you bring attention to the present moment and actually observe what is happening, you can see that reality is not quite the same as you thought it to be. You then see that this is simply what it is; Now you see it without the self-made story behind it. Of course you have to become very present for that; That is why if you are facing a really stressful situation.
You can use one of the following options to get back to the present moment. All of them do equally the same thing, it brings your attention to Now:
- Immediately become conscious of your breath and start observing what is happening in your mind.
Write it down if you want; It might be helpful for you to see the chaos and insanity of your thoughts on paper.
- If you are already practising my suggestions from my post about meditation, they will help you get back to the present moment faster. As I have mentioned there, look at your hands and start to feel them. Feel the energy field around it, the liveliness which is circulating there. Slowly expand that feeling throughout your body. This will calm down your mind activity and give you space to start observing it.
- Be aware of your physical feelings. It is more than likely that you will have some energy that is stuck, which is represented by a type of discomfort. Often, this even comes in the form of some sort of illness. Once you become conscious of that, you can notice that by giving yourself space from all this mind activity, those areas ease up as well.
When you are using any of these options, you are giving yourself some space to simply Be. And that is wonderful, because in this space, you can actually connect with your higher, true self and finally end the suffering.
If you managed to get that space now, you need to simply see that this moment is just the way it is;
Nothing can really be done but fully and deeply accept the things which are taking place right now, because this is what it is now. Don't fight reality; Accept it and give it your full attention; Surrender to it. Surrendering to this present moment will give you enormous strength and the whole universe will come in and help you: Events, people, and situations will start to happen for you to make the best from what is.
By accepting and surrendering to the very moment of now as it is, you are simply turning your life around just like that. Once you stop fighting reality and become aligned with it, it becomes evident to the universe and you become in harmony with it. Just like in nature, things change naturally and harmoniously, and new moments occur and are filled with possibilities; Possibilities which you are only able to see when you come out of that space of suffering and fighting against reality.
You can utilize this tool and make it work beautifully to do wonders for you, but this can only happen if you are in the present moment. You need to be present in order to operate your mind; If you are not present at all, that means that you let your mind tell you what it wants to perceive and do whatever it wants with your life. Even you can see that yourself, and a lot of the time when your mind takes over you, it's not pretty at all.
Life is simple, if you just don't let your mind tell you that it is complicated.